This was a hard day! I was dreading it Thursday night. I cried, I prayed, I hoped, I made wishes, I begged that something would happen and I would have to stay for just at least one more week! Well, that didn't happen, I am drafting this blog on my London to Houston return flight.
We started Friday with small group. Each day of camp I had "blessing" time with the boys, it is a one on one time to ask them very personal questions and find out what their lives are like outside of the safety and comfort of Camp Life. During these times, I traced each boys hand onto a sheet of paper and asked for three things they would like me to pray for them. On Friday, each child was presented with a certificate for attending camp. On the back of each certificate, I traced my hand, on three fingers I wrote the prayers they asked of me, on the other two, I wrote my own prayers for them. During small group we discussed that when I go home, I will place my hand on theirs and pray with them, and they can do the same. Initially when I was talking to them about this, it occurred to me that they could barely speak English much less read the prayers I had written. So I used this to explain to them how I was going to pray that God would find a way for each of them to attend school, so that they could read what I had written. This is my job- I have to find a sponsor for each of these children so that they have the opportunity to attend school so they will have a fighting chance at being a positive, educated, encouraged future for Zambia.
After small group we gathered for large group, for our final camp lesson, songs and dancing. At this time, they told the children of the gifts they would receive, a bandana, new shirt, a pair of shoes and a bible! They flipped out! So cute!
We left the large group and headed for the shoe fitting station. For those of you that sponsored a pair of shoes, you get a sneak peak at the pics, I will be sending them to you soon! We took their shoes off their feet, I want to describe this to you (be thankful you are reading this, I am one sobbing mess trying to get this part out). These shoes, what can I say, not one of you reading this blog has anything in your possession that is as worn and tattered as these boys shoes. Not one of you has a pair of socks with as many holes as they have in their socks. I literally can not think of ONE thing I own that is in as much disrepair as the shoes on these precious boys feet! Beyond the fact that there are holes in the soles, laces only long enough to keep the top hole together, toes busting out at the sides, dirty, worn shoes; they are proud to have them, THEY have shoes, they have something to wear- not all of the kids at camp did. New shoes- these children have never had a new shirt, blanket, socks, much less a new pair of shoes! My prayer is that their parents will not sell them, that they will be able to wear them with pride.
We ate our last lunch together, for six such tough boys, they all started coming down with "paining" stomachs (I didn't know it at the time, but it was a case of the blues rather than an actual belly ache!)
The bibles... My boys opened their bibles, found the pictures of the evangicube and started reciting what they had learned. I have 6 9-11 year old boys excited and over the moon thankful for a bible and a new pair of shoes!
We sang and danced and played until the kids had to line up for the bus.
My beautiful, sweet boys lined up, didn't say much while waiting for the bus. I tried to engage them in laughter but they seemed really anxious to get on the bus. The call was made to load up and off they went- basically sprinting to the bus, leaving me in the dust. Okay- part of me was crushed, heart broken full on sadness that they didn't have a hard time leaving me. I mean, come on, if I could find a way to pack them up, bring them home and keep them as my own, I WOULD, and there they went- to the bus, without the slightest of a sweet goodbye. Here was my thought process- aimee, these are boys, 9-11 years, they aren't cuddly little toddlers or sensitive little girls, they are young boys living with the responsibility of men, they don't cry, they don't care about some mazunga (whitie) that they have known for a week. Come on Aimee, get it together, you came here to help them, you happen to have fallen in love, but that doesn't mean they feel the same, it has ONLY been a week- well, my brain was cranking out every justification there was, every excuse to WHY they so easily walked away. And then, there it was, out of nowhere, my eldest kid, Chola, comes leaping out of the bus, running to me and full on bear hugs me, I am shocked that we did not fall to the ground. I almost couldn't let go, I could see his tear, I could feel his heart pounding, and his chest sobbing and he was holding on SO tight- my absolutely full, exploding heart breaking all over again! I put him back on the bus, that was tough, but necessary. I was making one final check that they all got on the right bus and there, through the window on the opposite side of the bus was my youngest, sweet, adorable, scared Kennedy, balling! Uncontrollably sobbing- could I possibly leap through this window, reach the opposite side of the bus, escape with Kennedy and run? No- first I am not a runner, I don't know my way around Lusaka, much less Zambia or how to smuggle a child out of Africa, so I ran to the opposite side of the bus, slid the window open and reached through to meet my sweet Kennedy for a sobbing hug, he was leaning out of the window- I seriously could have pulled him out, he is small, I really should have had a plan for this! As we both cried, I kept trying to say smile in Nyanga, thinking this would help us stop crying, it didn't, we just cried, till the bus started moving, then we said goodbye. Full hearts...broken..
Let me back up, on Thursday I was thinking about sponsorships, I have six boys that need to be placed in school, that need the one hot meal provided to them at school, to have the security of of knowing the Lord and the community that Family Legacy offers it's children. With discipleship leaders in their compounds to council the children and their families, the sponsor program offers so much more than just an education to the kids . So... Thursday night I am trying to figure out what I can do. I love all of my boys, I have every intention of finding a sponsor for each one! Here is the thing- I am not going ask someone to take on the responsibility of sponsoring a child through their education an not do the same. (this is probably a conversation I should have with the Mr prior to posting it in a blog, but he is in Chicago today and pretty sure he isn't reading my blog during the Red Sox game, so I figure I have time to talk to him tonight and he MAY read this Monday and then all will be done and he will forgive me, b/c he is a kind loving and forgiving husband... :-)) SO Thursday night I very clearly knew that I was going to be the sponsor for two of my boys and very deep in my heart and soul and with very defined direction, I knew which two boys it would be - of coarse this is not something I could discuss with the boys, i had told Erin and Trish, but obviously, they couldn't tell the boys either, so what happened on Friday was in no way a result of anyone's knowledge of the task I had been so clearly decided to do, I am going to be Chola and Kennedy's sponsor. I have no doubt and I know my four other boys will have sponsors as well. I can not place my finger on the exact reason why these two boys are the ones, I just know it is what I am supposed to do. It is not in any way an expression of me loving or caring for them more than the others, it is just a clear message I received and I believe it is my responsibility. I have 6 boys in Zambia, I fell head over heals in love with six poverty stricken, vulnerable, orphaned children that for less than what we spend on one dinner out, I can send them to school, provide a hot healthy meal once a day, medical assistance and discipleship to. For a little more than $1 a day, all of that is provided to my Zambian boys!
I want to put a few things in perspective- for what I paid for my texting plan for two weeks while I was in Zambia- I could have sponsored a child for a month. For what I spent on the new green fleece to wear in Zambia, I could have sponsored a child for a month. For what I spent on a new pair of African beaded flip flops, I could have sponsored a child for a month. For what I spend in a month on coffee from Starbucks, I could have sponsored a child for a month. Are you getting the picture? For what I spend on wine in a month... Well- I might be able to sponsor a child for a year! ;-) seriously- $40/ month- one of my boys gets a chance at LIFE- an education, the opportunity for medical assessment and treatment, a HOT meal EVERYDAY (think about that one folks, one hot meal a day... That means that my boys would eat twice a day((they only eat once currently)) when was the last time you only had one meal in a day?) I am not preaching to you, and quite honestly if you think that, stop reading, I am not trying to guilt you either, I am just trying to explain what I have been made aware of and explain a world I was not aware of, and exposed to where I found 6 beautiful children and fell in live with and want to know they have a better future than what I left them with!
Okay, I need a nap before this plane lands, I will post the rest of my day tomorrow. Keep in touch- xoxo
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